Wednesday, July 7, 2010


Relationships are vital for us mortal human beings, they are the reason for our existence, but is it worth ruining ourselves for it. Relationships need to add value to our lives, rather than belittling it.

Few of the incidents in the recent past forced me to write a post on the same, namely

1) Viveka Babeja's suicide
2) A close friend of mine had a bitter breakup, and has settled to marital bliss with a wonderful human being.......

If i may take the liberty, Both two sides of the same coin, both went to similar adversity, but what made the difference in the outcome. This led me to the inspiring story, which has been forwadded to me by husband.....Hope you guys like it as much as i did :)

The title of the story is bit wierd though, but do read it......

"A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee..."

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.' 'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hardboiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked,

'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavour. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

May we all be COFFEE!! :)
I am sure, You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again........

Oh yes, and this post took birth with a conversation that i had with my dear Friend Pallavi over a virtual tea, while chatting :P


  1. Hey Rentu!!!

    It really sadened me when I head about Viveka Banerjee incident..I write about it in the blog also..It is not easy to be coffe always and especially when things are not going the right way do we remember these things...

    atleast not me:(..I think viveka too was a strong woman and that is why she made big in this so calld big bad world of modelling but some how we woman go so wrong when it comes to love..

    I wish peace to her soul and really want woman to be emotionally stronger..

    I think i am writing use less things and not even thinking before writing it out..:D

  2. Sad about Viveka babajee. But nice blog. Compelled me to think what i am really?.
    Have/Had my share of life's so called adversity but still cant conclude what i am turning out to be, a carrot, egg or Coffee. Sooner or later i will get my answer. This one really touched me.
    Live Life. But the greater question here is "HOW?". And that makes all the difference.

    Sorry to say Annie but i can not approve the topic of your blog - 'Relationships'. when you are talking about life's adversity its not the one. when we say 'bad relationship', actually relationship is not bad but the understanding of the relationship is not good. :) There lies the point. May be in Viveka's case may be the understanding of their relationship was wrong and that lead her the wrong way.

  3. @Anamika: I agree dear that when we are faced with adversities, we stop thinking logically, and end up messing life further.....But i believe in the verse
    If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it........
    Lets just be patient and go with the flow, and be emotionally stronger.
    I wish that you be the coffee, my dear :D

  4. @Sai: i hope you turn out to be the coffee, i can only wish that for you my dear friend

  5. Rentu..I want to be salt which when added or poured or boiled in water gets invisible..:D
    People will miss me when I wont be in their curry :D
    what say?:D

  6. @Anamika: OMG, how do you come with such things, i alwys keep scratching my head thinking about whats gonna be my next post, and wuuu, i see 3 posts of your already in air......My day starts with reading your blogs, and inspires me to contribute in my own little ways.

  7. Nice post Rentu.. I had read this story a long time ago.. & having gone through a very difficult year, on retrospect I feel that being coffee too is not a very easy task..

    Coffee beans end up losing all their flavour after the boiling - coz they give up their own individuality while trying to change their surroundings. They struggle so hard.

    Sometimes it is better to just go with the flow, lay low and not waste energy on others - who are beyond redemption :)


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